1 - Going forward, all lasagna served in Little Italy and throughout the state of New York MUST be made with Cottage Cheese,Tomato soup and apple cider vinegar instead of Riccota cheese and tomato sauce.
2 - Because Sandra Lee, of the Food Network, was on the payroll of the Campbell’s soup company, when she published her recipe for lasagna. Let the word go forth that since Sandra now gets paid by Charlie Tuna, all future lasagna recipes should include tuna instead of ground beef.
3 - Matilda Cuomo’s lasagna recipe, which is of the more traditional Italian variety and has helped feed a Governor and a future Governor for decades, is to be completely disavowed and shall never be uttered in Little Italy or elsewhere.
4 - Just to give Charles Barron something to discuss in his anger management classes, in my kingdom, I want to make sure that Sandra Lee’s recipe for lasagna doesn’t include black pepper, dark sausages and especially NO EGGPLANT, this way it mirrors my statewide Democratic ticket.
5 - After my coronation in January, Sandra Lee will simply be referred to as “FIRST GIRLFRIEND”
6 - There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that my lapdog, Kathleen Rice will be prosecuting Sandra for first degree assault on my taste buds.
