Royal Decrees In The Kingdom of Cuomolot (By Curtis Sliwa)

1. I am not a liberal, nor am I a conservative. I don’t even consider myself a Democrat or a Republican. The only label I wear proudly is that of… a NEPOTIST!

2. Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your father can do for you.

3. As King Cuomo II, I pledge to make speeches that are even longer, even more boring, even more filled with bureaucratic doublespeak than those of King Cuomo I.

4. I guarantee you that I will visit all 62 fiefdoms in Cuomolot and in each one, I will forever ban the abusive and corrupt practices of “press conferences,” instead replacing them with a daily regal conference call.

5. I will NEVER allow myself (or any other member of my regal administration) to appear on NY1 for a sitdown interview.

6. I will build upon the foundation I laid as federal housing czar and not just make it easier for the indigent to get subprime mortgages, but I’ll make it mandatory. In fact, I will authorize a subprime mortgage to every homeless person in New York State!!!